‘Secrets never stay buried for long. That’s why I’m reburying these bones.’
With a satisfied wag of his tail, General Pooch admired his young human friends playing in the yard nearby. He hollowed out the perfect spot for his collection, but the pit glowed bright, blinding him. Tommy Hellion kicked a soccer ball towards him. It flew into the grave as if magnetised.
Dazed by the glare Tommy fell on his butt as he grabbed the ball. A carpet of purple flowers broke his fall. Tommy pulled his hat down to block out the light. General Pooch compelled, dug with all his might. Patsy Palsy-Walsy peered in the hole. Caleb Moralkins persevered playing the spoons and singing out of tune. Tommy dragged the glowing golden chest up onto the ground.
A sign said, ‘sealed by the steadfast Gnomes of Lavalulu.’
Tommy unfastened the latches. With the effort, he nicked his thumb, but the box remained sealed. Blood trickled onto the box. The chest floated onto Patsy’s lap. Caleb dropped his spoons. Holding her breath, Patsy moved her face inches from the lid. As she breathed out, the hood flew off and swirled around the children and General Pooch.
Words, pages, books escaped the box and soared in every direction. The children and Pooch scrammed.
Fresh from winning Miss PixieVerse, Princess Heather Una-Gobble’s feathers buffeted the word ‘drop’. She fluttered to the ground. Someone in Hogglebrush had opened the chest. Heather ducked as the page of indifference whooshed past her head. She waded through the tempest of text to apprise the emperor of the unrest, before the leaves of the Classic Hits Songbook took to the air.
She watched one person after another get thwacked with the words to ‘Shake your booty’. Soon so many bottoms were shaking the earth was quaking.
‘Dang! Now that song’s repeating in my head.’ Heather UnaGobble met the Emperor at his door.
‘The songbook’s got He’s got the whole world in his hands in it. No one’s is strong enough to hold the whole world!’ Said the Emperor.
‘Where’s Hercules?’ Said Heather.
‘Hercules is in a mood. Did you see the mess he made in the forest? He’s gone.’
Another paper smiting behinds, caused a Kung-fu fighting spectacle.
‘This has to stop. Who opened the box?’ Said the Emperor.
‘I believe it was three children after their dog dug it up.’ Said Heather Una-Gobble.
‘How did they know the ritual; spoons, blood, breath?’
‘It was accidental, the dog was shifting his favourite meaty bones.’
‘Find them now, do you understand me?’
‘Find the bones, Sir?’
‘What would I want with doggie bones? Collar the Quaternity of Quats and quelch this quatsch now!’ The Emperor screamed.
‘Excuse me sir? Said Princess Una-Gobble.
‘Find the Culprits, Make this nonsense stop!’
Princess Heather traversed the forest past dancing, kicking, flailing limbs to the clock tower where she found the confused Quartet staring at the jumping town.
Heather faked her best human imitation and in her most virtuous voice, asked ‘Please follow me?’
Meanwhile…The Dark Fae Despot, Mooyani arose with the chest, from centuries of interment in a dank, dim nest. Nine gnomes wearing tutus erupted from Lavalulu in a mini volcano, fast as a tornado! Mooyani closed her eyes spouting spells, but her magic only welled up flowers and silk. The Gnomes waved their Tesla Wands into a nine pronged lightning peak, sang their wizard gibberish speak. Mooyani sunk into the deep.
Caleb’s spoons floated by like little moons awaiting Caleb’s tune. Heather brought the troublesome foursome-who’d occasioned the misfortune- to the Gnomes.
‘Ouch,’ Tommy yelled.
The chest swooped in hungry for blood. Tommy’s blood dripped on the lid of the box. Caleb played the spoons and sang out of tune. Clumsy General Pooch knocked the trunk for a loop. Patsy took a breath big enough to blow out enough candles for 11 kiddy birthdays. The chest zoomed to her face right away. As Patsy breathed out, words, pages, chapters came from all over Hogglebrush. The chest inhaled text. Patsy leapt on its lid.
General Pooch buried it as fast as he could. Then he remembered his bones of pigs. Aghast, he hightailed back to his digs.
The tutu-garbed gnomes deemed the misadventure closed, jumped into their volcano which transformed into a knoll. Though the day took its toll, their ballet tonight would be droll. Princess Una-Gobble still wearing her Miss PixieVerse Winner Sash flapped her way to her welcome back. Tommy, Patsy and Caleb’s Mums were calling them for dinner. No one mentioned the ‘event’ for a hundred winters.
PS The Emperor smacked upside the head, immediately after he spoke to Heather, (with I wanna rock’n’roll all night and party every day) at last benefited from some rest: The best sleep he’d had in years!
Story and Sketch © Love Happy Notes
For earlier adventures in Hogglebrush see
Hogglebrush’s Handsome Hero and part 2 the Kiss where we first meet Princess Heather Una-Gobble. Also The Cat, the Vampire Rat and the blue-bonnet plague go to Hogglebrush but that’s part of another series of silliness!
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