Pirate pig-pen-pals lost on Mars

silliness, fun, story

It defied logic. Ella-phantastic’s Elephant ears were growing like a plant: A planted accelephant Elephant! They became so big she could hear the others’ thoughts: Thoughts in the pit of Auburn snake’s stomach ache. He was dreaming of devouring her dilating ears, delighting in their diligent development. It seemed eons since they’d fed.

‘Life on Mars sucks buckets!’ growled Auburn as his gut-ter-sniped.

‘That don’t be makin’ sense’, said Ella agitating her expanding ears.

Ella-Phantastic felt fee-bull. But there was oodles of eats on their Pirate container ship that had drastically skipped elastic time-space from cruising the North Atlantic Sea through a gigantic frantic storm that formed in the Bermuda triangle and teleported them here: To Mars, oh dear! Where had their ship ricocheted to? Why had it thrown them off?

‘I be so famished I could macerate a mangy Martian ‘n his matey,’ roared the Dragon, Doctor Hue, biting at the air.

We have to find that ship or Auburn the sneaky snake will partake in a banquet of us as if we are cake, milk-shake and a T-bone steak. Though Fuchsia Pig.

As Fuchsia Pig and the dragon, Doctor Hue debated the ship’s whereabouts, they were swept up by a furious Eddy, that upended and shimmied them like space stations in a dance-off finale. Gravity was hard-pressed to bear any weight on the situation. The weather on Mars was weird.

‘They’ve really bottomed out!’ Ella-phantastic hee-hawed, delirious, as she grasped at husky grassy straws.

‘Quit it!’ said the straws as Ella spluttered zest of garlic-breath. The infant Elephant spit and spat like a furball-packed cat until she had no spittle left.

Something was up with Fuchsia Pig, not just because she was a Pig in Space

‘Fuchsia ye’re lookin’ a wee hirsute,’ bawled Dr Hue, swirling over the swale.

‘What’s that, you want a suit of hair?’ Fuchsia snorted as her curly tail twirled round in the gale.

‘Look at your hairy hands you stir-fried pork,’ Auburn Snake sounded out. Then he remembered those trotters had unleashed a lethal lucent weapon that had vanquished the Martian vermin. ‘Maybe she’s Nasty Goreng!’ He snickered.

The pig and dragon fell to the ground. The Eddy was done for now. Fuchsia pig squealed with trepigdation. ‘I’m hairier than a woolly werewolf’s whiskers: What on Mars is happening?’

‘Don’t worry dear we’ll get a razor-back from th’ ship fer ye’, said Doctor Hue.

‘More like a Lawn Mower!’ Auburn snake raked along the dirt.

After hours of warming them, the desert Sun ambled off to the other side of the planet. Auburn Snake could barely keep awake, and the rest huddled together as the mercury dropped Mars to Pluto-cold. But as they trudged on they saw …a second Sun?

‘Hallelujah!’ cried Ella-phantastic.

The second Sun loomed large as they stepped across the Steppe. In fact, it wasn’t a sun at all but their morphed container ship.

”tis glorious!’

‘Magnificent.’

Before them stood a palatial cruise ship, elegant and shimmering.

‘I feel so irrelephant!’ Cried Ella-phantastic.

‘You are irrelephant, Smelly-phant! Said the snake

‘I reckon ye mean insignificant’, said Dr Hue

‘The ship is huge and full of fodder! There won’t be hair of pork in my fangs after all!’ Oops, did I just say that out loud?’ Said Auburn Snake’s mouth.

This is Chapter 3. Each chapter can be read on its own or part of a series. Click here for Chapter 4. To start at the beginning click the Piggy below.

cute, funny, comedy

featured-fiction

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20 thoughts on “Pirate pig-pen-pals lost on Mars

  1. I love this series! It’s so much fun. I particularly loved – ‘I be so famished I could macerate a mangy Martian ‘n his matey,’ and Gravity was hard-pressed to bear any weight on the situation. Another exciting adventure. Thanks so much for the contribution 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are hilarious! Tonight I especially enjoyed, “‘Quit it!’ said the straws as Ella spluttered zest of garlic-breath. The infant Elephant spit and spat like a furball-packed cat until she had no spittle left.”
    Thank you. It’s fun to read your stories late at night. I’m laughing and smiling all the way to bed.
    MillieAnne

    Liked by 1 person

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