Rush hour swarmed under a winter sky that threatened tempestuous combustion. Hilary and her snub-nosed-gun were the only ones who noticed. Sinister melodies surfed the gusts, rattling along the tracks. The trains huffed and spat. The platform heaved and swarmed with a feverous undulating swelter. Hilary feared the crowded platform could become a smelter, that would surely melt her.
A harrowing hawk stalking a scrawny swallow, squawked as it swooped across the station of agitation. A bustling flat-faced man who look like the dish that ran away with the spoon, gawked at the hawk, and knocked Hilary off her footing. He smelled rather off-putting. In the heat Hilary swooned. The snub-nosed-gun jabbed and bruised her leg. It’s trigger nearly popped.
A busker sang folk-rock. He struck his guitar like a zealous foe, riling up the flock. None of the trains would stop. The mob were miffed. She best be swift. It was time she did what she came to do. But the sky was no longer blue. The blackened clouds cracked and blew matching the mood of the brooding horde.
Hilary fondled her snub-nosed-gun, it was getting warm. ‘Goodness gracious me, my water-pistol is no match for a cranky storm!’
Join in with photo fiction, a 200 word story based on the above sepia photo. For details click on the train tracks. To join in link below.
Laughing.
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Cool! Thanks Pam. 🙂
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Nice twist! Very unexpected.
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Thanks 🙂
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“threatened tempestuous combustion” love that. This was a fun read!
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Thanks Jen. 🙂
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You made me giggle, loved it. 🙂
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Thanks Sarah. Happy for the giggle. 🙂
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“threatened tempestuous combustion” struck me as well. That’s a great line. You had me laughing at the end; I was expecting some sort of crazy urban rampage!
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I’m so glad you were surprised and smiling. Thanks for your kind words.
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I like the twist at the end.
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Thanks Marcy.
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Funny.
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Thank you! I’m glad you liked it.
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Love the final line. Congrats! ^_^
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Thank you DragonSpark! 🙂
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Great image in your opening line: “Rush hour swarmed…” I can definitely see it!
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Thanks Jennifer.
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Love the image painted in that first sentence and the funny twist. 🙂
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Thank you Sarah Ann. 🙂
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Phew! Glad it was a water gun. Fun read!
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Thanks Melanie. 🙂
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Such a fun read! That twist in the end. 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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I thought you were going in a completely different direction…until I got to the end. Nice twist!!
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That’s great, thanks Kathy.
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I’ve never thought about it before, but, yes, most water pistols are snub-nosed. Love clicking on your entries and seeing where it takes me, LHN.
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Thank you so much.
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“tempestuous combustion” — such a great pairing of words! I’m liking the soundy-words and near stream-of-consciousness.
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Thanks Meg.
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Love the sinister melodies line!
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Thanks.
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Love your descriptive writing – especially…well, everything! And thebustling flat-faced man who look like the dish that ran away with the spoon cracked me up.
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Thanks.
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Lots of fun masking some really tight writing with all the senses addressed.
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Thanks so much Patrick!
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Bravo! That was magnificent
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Thank you so much Al! 🙂
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You’re welcome
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Fantastic word-play, with a clever twist at the end! 🙂
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Thanks Steve for your encouragement. I’m so glad you liked it.
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Wonderfully crafted. Excellent.
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Thank you. That’s so kind of you. 🙂
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